It’s been a long time since we’ve talked. If you follow me on Instagram you probably know about my new puppy and my depression. You probably know that I recently read DC Titans : Raven, that I cleaned out ALL of my clothes, I started playing magic, and that tiny waffles are adorable. That’s actually a pretty good summary of what I’ve been doing since January 1 of this year. But like always I want to talk about more than the pictures and maybe get a little detailed into some of the writing I’ve been doing and let you know around when you’ll see some of it.
Just as a heads up, I embedded Kelly Clarkson’s Since You’ve Been Gone below for you. It’s been stuck in my head since I started writing, so I figured this would give everyone a chance to have a little girl power in their day.
I have a lot of things I could talk about, like the bomb cyclone and how my car was so covered in ice that I thought I’d be stranded because of how insane the storm was, or how this was the first time I’ve been entrusted with an audit of any nature. There was completing the downloadable content from Horizon Zero Dawn, the first time I was bullied for streaming on Twitch, making new friends, earning a certificate in a software development process I’ll probably never get to use. And turning 35. That little highlight reel lead to new ideas (like learning 36 things before I turn 36) and new goals. It also brought me to the place of a new job.
I’m still testing software, but I’m going to be doing this for a new company. I’m stepping up into a real grown up job, one that pays real grown up money. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was nervous. The last time I did anything that could remotely be considered adult, I was fired for being too childish. I wasn’t ready then and I don’t know if I’m ready now, but I start on August 25th, so we’ll see how this goes.
My transition here is gonna be choppy, but I need to talk about the movie Booksmart. The quick and dirty is this, Booksmart is the story of two girls who didn’t have any fun in high school on the eve of their graduation realizing they wanted to step up and have the real high school experience. I watched this movie with my dear friend and movie buddy Marika and I’m not gonna lie it was probably one of my favorite movies of all time. The experience was relatable, it had some of my favorite people in it and to top it off I left the movie feeling like I had just watched a masterpiece in story telling.
Olivia Wilde made something that I can’t wait to show my kids. and I don’t say that often. I can think of a dozen movies maybe that I want to share with the my future children, the rest of my favorite movies they can discover on their own when they’re ready. Booksmart though was a seriously amazing.
Where this takes us though is the current state of my life. It’s not pretty right now. I mean sure there are cool parts, I get to do things like write and start a grown up tech job, but there are parts and things that are not much better than when I started, in fact some are downright worse.
So, my depression is downright terrible. I’ve been exhaustively depressed all summer. It’s the kind of depression that makes me feel like if my brain exploded I’d be winning. It’s hard to tell truth from fiction most days and because of that my anxiety is through the roof. It’s made everything from my daily relationships to work and planning my future, even writing, harder. Let’s be real, when the only thing you want to do is sleep, going to work and meeting up with friends occasionally become huge wins. Top that off with mystery illness and I’m feeling like the little wins are medals to be won.
I finally found a doctor and a therapist that I like. I’m getting on track with getting myself back together and I’m starting to feel more like a person most days. I can’t say that I’m doing perfect, but I am doing better than I was. And that’s a start.
So, what does this mean for the future of skaBunny Makes? What am I gonna do now?
I’m not going to Disney World, but I am taking a week vacation in October to hangout with a friend and, fingers crossed, do some writing. I’m also working on a novella that I’m hoping to have done sometime around the end of the year. I’ll give you more information on that when I know more.
I’ve started a couple blog posts that I’m hoping to have up soon and I’d like to think that I’ll be back up and regularly posting here soon, but I’m gonna be ok if I can’t manage that.
Keep and eye on Instagram for more information, or you can follow me on Facebook.
Till Later Adventurers! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for hanging out and checking back. That means the world to me.
Thank you for being amazing! Please know my door is always open for anyone who needs to get stuff off their chest, to talk things out, or to just shoot the shit. You can follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Tumbr; as well as support me through Patreon. Want to get in touch the fastest and easiest way is to email me, firstname.lastname@example.org.
I’m hoping to get new blogs posted Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday. Need inspiration? Check out Inspired.Tuesday on Instagram.
Till Next Time Adventurers!